Apr. 21st, 2011

tsukikage: (時かけ - here is gone)



tsukikage: (ヒカ碁 - Hikaru alone)
You know, I was originally going to go over to Mike's around 1:30 today and get there before he got home from class to suprise him, and then stay until Monday morning because I didn't have to work at Walgreens this weekend. At the moment I'm doing fine with regards to him, but it's... really, really weird to not be going over to his place tonight. I keep feeling like I should be getting ready, and getting disappointed that I'm not going as if I was being helld up by obligations at home. I sorta wish this had happened after this weekend so I could've had those 4 days with him... Somehow I'm in denial too and thinking maybe I can still go over this weekend, as a "one last weekend", but I know I can't have that. Or he might let me, but that doesn't mean it would be a good idea.

On the plus side, I haven't cried at all this morning (yet).

By the way, I'm planning to make a filter for all my getting-over-Mike-related stuff - drop a note if you want in.
tsukikage: (StC - Chihiro on balcony)
tsukikage: (CB - Ed thinks knows)
Doing some mild poking around OKCupid toe try to find interesting people to IM wth, and accepted the invitation of someone who messaged me in early April to go out for tea. I'm too busy to socialize too much (even weekends at Mike's were a good portion me sitting on his bed and reading, which is really only something you can do with a S.O.), but I figure I can take 1-2 hours out for a study break to meet someone new. I don't know whether I should wait to try to start dating again until I'm over Mike (or at least until it's been more than 30 hours since we broke up), or whether it's in fact healthy to have some simple playing-the-field dates even early on after a break-up to help speed the process. Just as long as I don't have someone walk out through the back door in the middle of our dinner like one guy did.

God, why does this feel like cheating?

ETA: Hmm, I think part of why it feels like cheating is that a part of me maybe still hopes we'll change our mind and I'll figure out a way to be content with the relationship. Still got a bit of denial/bargaining in me I guess.


tsukikage: (Default)

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