Trying to initiate dates: too early?

[tsukikage]

Doing some mild poking around OKCupid toe try to find interesting people to IM wth, and accepted the invitation of someone who messaged me in early April to go out for tea. I'm too busy to socialize too much (even weekends at Mike's were a good portion me sitting on his bed and reading, which is really only something you can do with a S.O.), but I figure I can take 1-2 hours out for a study break to meet someone new. I don't know whether I should wait to try to start dating again until I'm over Mike (or at least until it's been more than 30 hours since we broke up), or whether it's in fact healthy to have some simple playing-the-field dates even early on after a break-up to help speed the process. Just as long as I don't have someone walk out through the back door in the middle of our dinner like one guy did.

God, why does this feel like cheating?

ETA: Hmm, I think part of why it feels like cheating is that a part of me maybe still hopes we'll change our mind and I'll figure out a way to be content with the relationship. Still got a bit of denial/bargaining in me I guess.

Comments

[akaneko.livejournal.com]

I'd say take it slowly - don't try to get serious about any other relationship for a few weeks at least. Keep in mind that your early impressions of any Someone New's that you meet will be heavily colored by the context you met them in.

You still need time to work out your feelings about Mike, and it'd be easy to move too far, too fast with someone else (whether physically or emotionally) because you're grieving the loss of your relationship with Mike, and it could be tempting to use someone else to fill the needs he used to fill for you. That wouldn't be fair to the other person, and it'd be hard on you to maintain your own sense of clarity about the new relationship itself and what you want from that relationship. :-/

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you make some good points. Also, Elizabeth pointed out that I could probably get the same "healing-speeding" benefits by trying to meet some girls on OKC (not that I couldn't meet a guy friend on OKC, but the meetings would always be tinted with thoughts about relationship potential). Anyway, any next relationship that I'd get into would be taken really slowly for all those reasons, but I probably should wait at least a month before trying to go on any dates.

[akaneko.livejournal.com]

More galpals is always a good thing. :D