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tsukikageSo, right now I'm just feeling ueber-crappy. I mean, I'm honestly considering taking one of my panic attack pills right now. (And no, I'm not having a panic attack.) Good thing I don't have them in my purse.
Missed all my classes. Bus that would get me to my appointment on time apparently broke down, so I was an hour late. Or I would have been, if I had found the office at all. Dad's gotta be so pissed... (He was going to meet me there.)
I have no energy at all. I can't even read through my LJ friends list. I mean, I read my actual friend's (vs. acquaintance's) entries, but mostly out of obligation.
I just want... I want to pause the world. I want to be numb. What I wouldn't give for school to be cancelled tomorrow so I can go to meeting and just meditate. But school will be in session tomorrow, and I have too much homework to do.
If I had the money I'd go to the Village Wok and have a nice, warm dinner, but I don't... And I should be saving money.
Best of all, my surgery is in exactly four weeks. I feel really crappy about missing a week of school because it won't be an "exception" - the teachers won't have any reason to view it as other than another week of missing school. Great.
I don't want to go home, not only because of the appointment incident, but because I know there'll be no end to the "you need to take things easy" babble from my parents. Maybe I'll call Dad and tell him that I'm going to work on hw at the U. Or ask him if I come home now if he'll be quiet.
If anybody knows any good assasins out there, have them give me a call. Tell them there won't be much of a struggle, and they'll be included in the will if they want.
Missed all my classes. Bus that would get me to my appointment on time apparently broke down, so I was an hour late. Or I would have been, if I had found the office at all. Dad's gotta be so pissed... (He was going to meet me there.)
I have no energy at all. I can't even read through my LJ friends list. I mean, I read my actual friend's (vs. acquaintance's) entries, but mostly out of obligation.
I just want... I want to pause the world. I want to be numb. What I wouldn't give for school to be cancelled tomorrow so I can go to meeting and just meditate. But school will be in session tomorrow, and I have too much homework to do.
If I had the money I'd go to the Village Wok and have a nice, warm dinner, but I don't... And I should be saving money.
Best of all, my surgery is in exactly four weeks. I feel really crappy about missing a week of school because it won't be an "exception" - the teachers won't have any reason to view it as other than another week of missing school. Great.
I don't want to go home, not only because of the appointment incident, but because I know there'll be no end to the "you need to take things easy" babble from my parents. Maybe I'll call Dad and tell him that I'm going to work on hw at the U. Or ask him if I come home now if he'll be quiet.
If anybody knows any good assasins out there, have them give me a call. Tell them there won't be much of a struggle, and they'll be included in the will if they want.
