In which attempting to be safe gets me accused of being some degree of racist

[tsukikage]

Got another random "You're really beautiful; do you want to go somewhere together" solicitation today, only this time the guy in question pegged my avoidance on me being "ashamed of" him because he's black and I'm white. Um, awkward... And it didn't really get any better from there.
Honest question: are there actually large portions of the population for whom it's culturally appropriate to "court" by asking strangers you think look good if they want to spend time with you? All I can think of is that it's really saying "if things go well tonight, maybe we can both get some", but how would you even answer to that?
A: "I couldn't help but notice that you're really pretty. Would you like to go [insert activity] with me?"
B: "Sure, but let me make it clear that I don't do anything physical until we've gone on a number of dates and we've become an official couple."
A: "......"
I also did not like being put in the position of feeling like I had to explain myself. Normally my generic avoidance is enough.
I dunno, I want to stop even making these posts for lack of such events to post about, but... Even if I did decide I wanted to be more conscious about my safety as a woman in a moderately sized metro area, just how feasible would that be? I guess I could start by going straight home after MAS, but... I dunno. I think I'll talk to my dad about it tomorrow.

Comments

[killercherrypie.livejournal.com]

You don't owe any stranger an explanation if you don't want to spend time with them or even talk to them. If he thinks you're racist for saying "no", that's more indicative of his own thought process than it is yours. A real gentleman wouldn't open up with "You're pretty, wanna go somewhere" and a real gentleman would respect it when a woman says "no" and leave it at that.

It seems this dude doesn't understand that there are legitimate reasons for you to avoid those kinds of confrontations (fear of violence, sexual assault, harassment, etc.), especially if you are by yourself. If you feel unsafe about walking around the campus area at night, I recommend calling for an Escort from the Security Monitor program. They'll walk you around campus for free. Their number is 612-624-WALK (9255) or just 4-WALK (4-9255) from a campus phone.

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately this was at Franklin and Cedar. Luckily I've never been in any of those situations on campus.

[lugia222.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can't say it better than killercherrypie, so I'll just say that those guys are creepers and you're best to stay away from them.

[akaneko.livejournal.com]

Asking random people out on the basis of appearance alone in random situations is weird, weird, weird. It'd be one thing if you were hanging out at a bar or some sort of social event, but I'm presuming you weren't. You don't have to explain a complete and total lack of interest in a complete and total stranger, period.

I dunno if this is acceptable courting behavior for some populations in America, but it's obviously not acceptable courting behavior for people attempting to court YOU, which is all you need to worry about in cases like this.