like a benign tumor

[tsukikage]

I just got back from my mom's... And I feel like shit. I don't belong there at all. I'm just kind of... Like some benign tumor. I tried to give my mom a hug before she went to bed, and she was just totally disinterested. Not that she didn't return it, but... I don't know. She never was a very physically affectionate person anyway. Even with Allie. Still, I feel like I should just stop going there, but that's probably not a good answer.
I often wonder if I made a big mistake five years ago when I left. Did I ruin all of my chances then? Or did I save myself from what would have been?
I'm just so glad Dad and Ann love me so unconditionally. Dad gave me a big hug when I got home. ^_^

Comments

[voiceinmyhead.livejournal.com]

I think your mother will always love you, no matter what. That's a mom's job. She gave birth to you.

Sometimes I wonder if my mother cares about anyone more than she cares about herself, but my sister tries to remind me that she does.

I still wonder but I think she is right.

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

No, I know she loves me... It's just... There's a difference between having something called love for me. She's shown it for me plenty of times before, even. It's just... I don't know.

[voiceinmyhead.livejournal.com]

I think I know what you mean. Just know you are not alone.

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

That makes one of us. ;) And thanks... ^_^