AIM convo with Pat

[tsukikage]

RedClaw49 (10:56:18 PM): Hey Nastassja
RedClaw49 (10:56:19 PM): You should see this...
RedClaw49 (10:56:20 PM): http://i.thefairest.info/cutest_thumbs/9jP4T5.jpeg
tsukikage85 (10:58:23 PM): i'll look, but please don't im me anymore
RedClaw49 (10:58:44 PM): Wow
RedClaw49 (10:58:51 PM): Then fucking block me, Nastassja
RedClaw49 (10:59:00 PM): Though I wouldn't mind knowing what I did to deserve this
tsukikage85 (10:59:02 PM): i'd like it if you did the same
RedClaw49 (10:59:09 PM): I don't see why I'd want to
tsukikage85 (10:59:16 PM): you don't have to if you don't want to
RedClaw49 (10:59:22 PM): *rolls his eyes at you*
RedClaw49 (10:59:28 PM): I'd like to know what I did
tsukikage85 (10:59:28 PM): it's for my sake
tsukikage85 (10:59:31 PM): nothing
tsukikage85 (10:59:42 PM): this isn't about you
RedClaw49 (10:59:47 PM): All right
RedClaw49 (11:00:15 PM): Then please just go ahead and block me if you feel the need
tsukikage85 (11:00:44 PM): okay

And I did. I still wish he would have as well so I don't give in to temptations. (I still occasionally look at my old roommate's (Rebecca's) facebook profile, so I know this is an issue.)

[NOTE: I already had removed him from my buddy list before he IMed me.]

[EDIT: My idiotic self just looked went to his LJ:
Monday, November 27th, 2006
4:05 am
Ooh, ooh...
On Quantifying Moments
----

I remember when I was younger and I would try to pick which of my memories were my very favorites - When I had been the happiest, which things I had really loved, and to try to put them in order. One of my first times dancing, with a cute brunette at a church camp when I was about 13. Birthday parties. A particular evening with my first real girlfriend. A particular time holding her, the look on her face. At the time, I took those memories and I tried to rank them; to put them in some order, decide which was the best and go from there.

He just wrote that this morning. Granted, there was a lot more to it, but...
Are my only choices being the crazy ex who can't let go or the crazy ex that turns out into a bitch? *cries a bit*]

Comments

[ellie-desu.livejournal.com]

I think you've done the right thing. It's very difficult to remain friends after a relationship ended badly. I've tried to do the friends thing before, but it's never ended well, and so I've never tried after that. Just remember what you can happily and hope he can do the same. In due time you might be able to talk again, but there must be space for both of you to heal.

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

Thank you...

[belindabird.livejournal.com]

Actually, I would have told him outright why he shouldn't IM me. I mean, it's not bitchy to say you need time to heal and that talking to him isn't helping any. There's nothing wrong with admitting you're not ready to be friends.

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

You're probably right... I did slip up a bit there. I will say that I called him once after making that edit and managed to communicate that it wasn't because of anything he'd done, and although he said he really didn't know what was going on in my head he seemed to not think of me as a bitch, even if he may have thought I was a little weird. But hey, weird's okay.

[voiceinmyhead.livejournal.com]

:HUG:

It's for the best. He doesn't seem to get it, which isn't good for you. You've made the right decision IMHO.

[tiernsshadow.livejournal.com]

^All of the above comments have good advice. I'd just like to add one thing - have you talked to a counselor about this? The way you talk about the issue, it seems like you could use an extra hand in getting yourself out of "crazy/bitch ex" territory, and the U has short-term counseling services (http://www.ucs.umn.edu/counsel/pcc.html) that could help.

*hugs*

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

Wow... I feel kind of cheesily happy that you actually looked up counseling services at the U for me. ^_^;
Maybe you're right. I'll try to set up an appointment or two with them to see if they have any "professional" insight.