all those times...

[tsukikage]

I keep on wondering... If I hadn't done all that crap in the past, would things be different? He hasn't said any specific things about why he doesn't want to be with me anymore, but if I hadn't not gone to his house when I said I would those times, and if I hadn't biked away in the rain that time, and if I hadn't overstayed my welcome in his small dorm room those times, and if I hadn't given him the cold shoulder without explanation those times... If I hadn't done so many stupid things that I can't even remember all of those times, would he have a different sense? Would he have the sense that I'm the one he wants to live out the rest of his days with?
He's gonna be such a great father... (Forgive me for the semi-randomness there.)

On a positive note, I thought of one way to think of this that makes me feel better. Our ending this relationship is literally bringing me one step closer to finding that person. It may not be the next person, or the person after that, but just as the day will come when I will be dead, the day will come when I will know that I have found him.

Another thing which I might add to my list of requirements... Must love the moon.

Comments

[tsukikage85.livejournal.com]

きれい．．．　ありがとう。　出してみるよ。