what happens when you don't memorize your trig integrals

Comment and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.

Patrick e-mailed and called me after reading my e-mail, and basically said that he still really wants to be friends with me and doesn't want me to cut off contact with him. We talked for about a half hour on various subjects, mostly us-related. The whole conversation gave me new drive to learn more about the world so I can show him one day just how intellectual I can be. Take that! ;)
After I got off the phone, however... I bawled in the hallway for basically 10 minutes straight, and after going back into my room I kept having little crying spats that wouldn't go away basically until I began my calc final. I need to talk with him about this some more - figure out if I really am being rash, as well as what's best for me.

So, the math problem I was talking about in my phone post?
S((sin x)^3 (cos x)^2)dx
u = (sin x)^2 -> du = 2(sin x)(cos x)dx -> dx = du/(2 sin x cos x)
Also, since (sin x)^2+(cos x)^2=1, cos x = (1-(sin x)^2)^(1/2) = (1 - u)^(1/2)
S((sin x)^3 (cos x)^2)dx = S(sin x * u * (cos x)^2)(du/(2 sin x cos x)= (1/2)S(u cos x)du = (1/2)S(u(1-u)^(1/2))du
z = 1-u -> dz = -du -> du = -dz
Also, u = 1-z.
S((sin x)^3 (cos x)^2)dx = (1/2)S(u(1-u)^(1/2))du = (1/2)S((1-z)z^(1/2))(-dz) = (-1/2)S(z^(1/2)-z^(3/2))dz = (-1/2)((2/3)z^(3/2)-(2/5)z^(5/2))
= (-1/2)((2/3)(1-u)^(3/2)-(2/5)(1-u)^(5/2)) = (-1/2)((2/3)(1-(sin x)^2)^(3/2)-(2/5)(1-(sin x)^2)^(5/2))
Therefore, S((sin x)^3 (cos x)^2)dx = (-1/2)((2/3)(1-(sin x)^2)^(3/2)-(2/5)(1-(sin x)^2)^(5/2)).

And that, children, is what happens when you don't memorize your trig integrals.

*goes upstairs to make myself a quesadilla and hopefully lie down for a bit longer*

[EDIT: From the e-mail I just sent to Patrick:
It's like I have a deep cut, and every time I talk to you the scab over that cut is picked away at, sometimes more thouroughly than others. I think that if I want this to heal, the only way is to stop letting that scab get picked away at and not interact with you for a while. After that period, the scab will have healed and I won't have to worry so much.]

(no subject)

You know what I just realized?
Even if I'm kicked out of the U... I think I could still take classes as a non-degree-seeking student! I mean, sure, I'd have absolute the absolute last pick of classes, but it'd still be something. MCTC is still half the tuition of the U, so maybe I'd be better off taking classes there if I'm gonna be paying my own way, but it's good to realize that I have that option. Plus, I could always do a mix of MCTC and U of MN classes, which might help in not wasting the credits I take.
Patrick brought up that I might have trouble getting back into the U with my transcript in the shape it's in, so he thought I should just go for the A.A. and transfer, but I pointed out that the U would look at my U transcript as well as the MCTC one anyway, so I don't know how much it matters.
In any case, I need to verify all this. And get me full-time hours. ^_^;

Talking to Pat about all that's been on my mind lately - my crazy hormonal girl thoughts regarding us, my offense at being considered un-intellectual (I really think I'm more intellectual than he perceives; it's just that I'm poor at communicating my thoughts, so mostly they stay inside my own head, plus the fact that I'm not well versed at all in the areas he has the most interest in (politics, economics, history, etc.), so to some extent it's all the same to him) - seems to have been helping a lot. He doesn't want to offer much of his opinion on whether I should temporarily/indefinitely cut off contact with him, not wanting to influence my decision. But I'm thinking that I should just keep communicating with him about my feelings and concerns, even if I think they're selfish or obsessive, and so work out some of my deeper issues surrounding the breakup, and then just relax, go out for a chat over tea (depressing yet comfortably appropriate - I wish we had done that before he left for France) or a walk when he gets back, and learn to just relax a bit.
That's the thing... I think finally really letting out all of my psychological reactions to this to him is really letting me relax and take things in better stride. I hope. ^_^;

I hate that I've been feeling sick these past couple days. And it's a kind of constant yet weak queasiness that makes it both hard to concentrate and hard to tell what's causing it. Is it diet? The flu that's been going around? Stress? Lack of sleep?
It certainly doesn't help that KS95 was playing a commercial for a news story on Minnesota's plan to deal with bird flu should it come to Minnesota, killing as many as 300 a day. On the plus side, if I do die of bird flu, at least I won't have to angst about relationships/grades/ever getting my Ph.D. anymore.

Finally, even though sime316 hasn't gotten his work schedule yet... He requested time off to see X3 next Thursday night/Friday morning at midnight, so I'm going to be going with him and some of his friends. There's something uneasy about that for me (I saw the midnight showing X2 with Patrick and a bunch of people after junior prom two years ago), but I'm sure it's gonna be a blast!

not enough monies...

I'm pre-ordering ULTRA BLUE, and I figure I should get a second CD to save on shipping, and... and... I can't decide what to geeeeeeeeeeet!!! *cries*
I guess I'm leaning towards Hikki's First Love or ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION's FANKURABBU right now... Blue from Cowboy Bebop also sounds really nice... Blah... Not enough monies...
*decides on Blue*

Whee, ULTRA BLUE is on its way! Or rather, it will be once it's released.

(no subject)

My brain is fried. I don't feel well. I have less than 36 hours until my c.sci. final. My brain desperately needs steel wool after watching EIKEN at the Craptacular today. I'm starting to get worried about going to M.A.S. this summer/next fall with Patrick going too. They painted a bunch of the walls at Moos in this fugly yellow that I hate. No-one got my Nephie-pan (*tries some* Mazui! *takes another* Mazui! *grabs another* Mazui! *stuffs a handful of bread into mouth* I just realized, though, that I was saying "warui" instead of "mazui". Dang it...) at the Pan-tastic Dough-riginal Bread Reaction Contest, but then again I knew that'd be the case. I have ~12 c.sci. labs and studying for the Japanese kanji quizzes/tango quizzes/dialog checks to do. And I should really re-name my LJ icons to something more indexed, but I'm lazy and afraid that it'll put all my icons in previous posts to the default.

Blah...

[EDIT: I did a test, and it will indeed set all my icon selections to the default. The question is, then, is it worth it?]
[EDIT 2: I wonder if it's against the rules for me to friend the secret community that people aren't supposed to know about. I mean, if I'm not a member people could still make confidential posts FO, but I figure that'd just be an annoyance to everyone. Still, since I visit said community on a somewhat regular basis, I'm already reading anything too confidential for me to read my not confidential enough to not be made FO.]

more academic status stuff

Huh... I wonder if I should look into dropping all of my classes this semester... It'd suck to have to take 1271 AGAIN, but... I could also use my one-time drop. :-/
I also just read that CCE (the College of Continuing Education) recognizes CLA suspension, so I actually couldn't take any U classes if I do get suspended.
I'm a bit confuzzled, though:
"If you are on acadmic probation and both your cumulative and term GPAs fall below 2.0, you will be suspended."
Does that mean that since I'm not on probation this term I can't be suspended yet? I did a U of M search for suspension and at Morris it specifically says "Students whose term GPA is less than 2.0 for their last two consecutive semesters AND whose cumulative GPA falls below 2.0 will be suspended.", so assuming that Morris and TC have the same policies...

Damn, I need to visit Margaret (not you, my advisor) during walk-in tomorrow.
And I NEED MONIES TO PAY FOR CLASSES! (Yes, I know I bought those two CDs today, but it was calling to me! If I get enough hours that I can afford to pay for classes I will be as stingy as Scrooge when it comes to non-tuition. Except for the fact that I really, REALLY want to get my blue streak before Patrick comes back on Tuesday night and that requires buy-age of a bleaching kit, or potentially even payment for salon services since I'm being told by a couple of my friends that my hair type might not take the bleach too well.)