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tsukikageI was going to wait until I caught up to post. Fuck that.
I don't know why the feeling's so strong - there are a number of possibilities - but tonight I would have given anything (not literally, but pretty damn close) to not have to leave Patrick's house this evening. As we were napping together, I came close to crying at the thought that I would have to leave within the hour. I asked Patrick what he thought of trying to fall asleep or at least pretending until his parents came up to tell him to drop me off, in case they would just call my family and let us sleep until morning; Patrick was sure they wouldn't do that, and knew that if we waited that long he would be too tired to drive home safely.
I don't get it. Why was the feeling so strong today? The PMS I swear I don't suffer? Missing him while we were on our respective vacations? The (private) conversation we had yesterday? Falling further in love?
Eventually we left. I was thinking we should, anyway - not to get home, but because I felt it was the only way to "get over it", like the only way to get over the anxiety of getting a shot is to be done with it. The butterflies are still there. Or maybe that's hunger. ><;
We're planning on going camping for some period of time (most likely just a weekend, but we haven't discussed it much yet) this summer. For so many reasons, which I may elaborate upon later - mainly to spend some quality time with just us two; free of distractions and CAMPING - I can hardly wait. But being able to spend multiple nights in each-other's arms... We're not planning on crossing any physical lines, and I don't see that particular aspect bring us to a "new level" (the trip as a whole may), but it's feel it will fill a hole in the level we've already reached.
I just hope it won't make that hole bigger upon our return...
Btw, when I asked my dad for permission (prompted by Alana calling to ask if she can have a sleepover at a guy-friend's house and dad saying no), he said that would be fine. When I asked him why, he said we'll have been going out for nearly two years and he trusts us to be safe if we do decide to "take advantage of the situation" (he didn't use those words). I think he actually supports the idea! *smiles*
And I think the fact that the parents consider safe (and certain) sex in any stable and loving relationship to be healthy and acceptable couldn't have hurt. ^_^; (Again, although we're by no means sexually inactive, we're not planning on crossing that line. And as I said earlier, I've actually decided to back of quite a bit (at least while I'm in search of faith, in case I find one that doesn't approve of pre-marital "activities").)
As for his parents, last time I checked he hasn't gotten around to asking. He's not sure if they'll be comfortable with the idea, but he seriously doubts they'll say no. And as for discomfort, he's "a big boy".
So... Yeah. I have a lot more to say, but it can wait until I'm done catching up. ^_^;
P.S. When we pulled up to my house I asked if I could borrow Patrick's sweater to sleep with. He obliged. ^_^
I don't know why the feeling's so strong - there are a number of possibilities - but tonight I would have given anything (not literally, but pretty damn close) to not have to leave Patrick's house this evening. As we were napping together, I came close to crying at the thought that I would have to leave within the hour. I asked Patrick what he thought of trying to fall asleep or at least pretending until his parents came up to tell him to drop me off, in case they would just call my family and let us sleep until morning; Patrick was sure they wouldn't do that, and knew that if we waited that long he would be too tired to drive home safely.
I don't get it. Why was the feeling so strong today? The PMS I swear I don't suffer? Missing him while we were on our respective vacations? The (private) conversation we had yesterday? Falling further in love?
Eventually we left. I was thinking we should, anyway - not to get home, but because I felt it was the only way to "get over it", like the only way to get over the anxiety of getting a shot is to be done with it. The butterflies are still there. Or maybe that's hunger. ><;
We're planning on going camping for some period of time (most likely just a weekend, but we haven't discussed it much yet) this summer. For so many reasons, which I may elaborate upon later - mainly to spend some quality time with just us two; free of distractions and CAMPING - I can hardly wait. But being able to spend multiple nights in each-other's arms... We're not planning on crossing any physical lines, and I don't see that particular aspect bring us to a "new level" (the trip as a whole may), but it's feel it will fill a hole in the level we've already reached.
I just hope it won't make that hole bigger upon our return...
Btw, when I asked my dad for permission (prompted by Alana calling to ask if she can have a sleepover at a guy-friend's house and dad saying no), he said that would be fine. When I asked him why, he said we'll have been going out for nearly two years and he trusts us to be safe if we do decide to "take advantage of the situation" (he didn't use those words). I think he actually supports the idea! *smiles*
And I think the fact that the parents consider safe (and certain) sex in any stable and loving relationship to be healthy and acceptable couldn't have hurt. ^_^; (Again, although we're by no means sexually inactive, we're not planning on crossing that line. And as I said earlier, I've actually decided to back of quite a bit (at least while I'm in search of faith, in case I find one that doesn't approve of pre-marital "activities").)
As for his parents, last time I checked he hasn't gotten around to asking. He's not sure if they'll be comfortable with the idea, but he seriously doubts they'll say no. And as for discomfort, he's "a big boy".
So... Yeah. I have a lot more to say, but it can wait until I'm done catching up. ^_^;
P.S. When we pulled up to my house I asked if I could borrow Patrick's sweater to sleep with. He obliged. ^_^
