tsukikage: (SM - Princess Mercury)
Spent a good chunk of time with Patrick today, both during and after MAS. (We went to the Wok afterwards, where there was a group of MASers who we sat with for the following hour and a half.) It was nice to spend time with him and just be friends - that really hasn't happened it a while. Although I must admit I really wanted to play with his hair or lean against him. Thing is, afterwards as we were walking to the parking lot and driving home, I felt like our conversation was quite lacking. Part of it, I think, was that he didn't really want to talk about any of the significant things going on in his life, and I kind of felt that he wouldn't want to hear and/or talk about the worries in my own life, but beyond that... We really had nothing to talk about. I don't know if that was partly because I felt awkward and just couldn't think of anything to talk about, or I felt pressured to talk about "smart" things, but the end result was just a very flat conversation that will probably just reinforce his decision. Which on one side I'm okay with, but on the other... There's a part of me that keeps thinking that our learning to interact again will lead to our getting back together and doesn't like that possibility being shot down. But as I said, the largest part of me has learned to come to terms with that overwhelming likelihood. (I only use likelihood for lack of a better word, as our relationship's momentum is platonic, and likelihood implies an added force.)
I just wish I had given him a hug before I got out of the car...
tsukikage: (GW - We Are One)
Pat's more than likely going to be seeing PotC 2 with a girl friend (who he's never met IRL) of his, which may or may not be a date. (As for Saturday, he thought we were planning on Sunday, and as for Sunday, he got lethargic.) In any case, I encouraged him to go with her, and said that I'd still like to do something sometime soon, which he wants to do to.
I could talk about some other stuff, but it really doesn't matter that much, and I could use a nap.

Oh, I also have a feeling I'm gonna be moving LJ hgiher up the prority list... There's an icon or two from "Doomsday" that I really, really want to add.
tsukikage: (PGSM - bishoujo senshi)
As one would expect from this song, it's making me think about Patrick, and once again I'm thinking that I've made further progress. I'm not exactly happy about this, but it does't make me rebellious either. I think to some extent... Holding on has exhausted me, and I just don't have the energy in me to do it anymore.
He's supposed to come over next Thursday to see if he can't hook up my front USB ports (I was going to do them myself, but he thought he remembered it being more complicated than it looked last time he was working with my computer, so I asked him to take another look at it), but I kind of don't want him here. I was looking forward to it a little bit a few days ago, but now it just seems tedious.
In any case, I'm not going to tell him not to come over yet, because I'm feeling rather anti-social in general right now, and I have a feeling that my wariness will pass by then.
tsukikage: (GW - Duo Heero sleep)
I really want to talk to my Inu-chan right now... Except he's not my Inu-chan anymore, and he's not online anyway. Stupid song making me feel all squickily natsukashii and afraid of dying to boot. (I have two types of fears of dying: the fear I've had since I was three of eternal unconsciousness, and a somewhat more recent fear of forgetting everything from life, although the latter isn't quite as much a fear as a deep sadness and not wanting it to be true. That song and series is one of the things I don't want to forget about.)
My multi-leveled loneliness isn't helping either. I want to spend time more time with my friends, I want to be back at RBC, I don't want to be alone for two weeks, I want to spend time with my mom and the rest of my family at her house, I want a boyfriend to spend time with, I want to be taking classes or at least working full-time (I suppose boredom and loneliness are similar feelings for me), and I want Patrick back...

I'm getting quite tired and I really would do well to be asleep right now, but I really don't want to go to bed.
Heh... I just realized something. I think part of the reason I don't like going to bed is because it's... Lonely.
tsukikage: (SM - exhausted Ami)
Blah... One of the first things he did when he got to the room was have his head scratched by Steph. I had to move so he wasn't in my line of vision while I was looking at the screen.
At least Vinnie was there... ^_^

I'm gonna watch an episode of something and go to bed. Probably Doctor Who, as the last episode I saw was number 5. ^^;

The summer line-up:
6:30-7:00: Damekkodobutsu
7:00 - 8:00: Legend of the Dog Warriors
8:00 - 9:00: Kino's Journey
9:00 - 10:00: Gunslinger Girls
So basically crack, serious, serious, depressingly serious. Not terribly balanced this time around, are we?
tsukikage: (SM - exhausted Ami)
Thank you my friend
I sincerely appreciate the words you say
About how she'll cry
And how she'll grieve and miss me
When she goes away

Say them again
I need to hear the words once more
I can't believe
How she'll miss me when she's gone
And how she'll want to come back home
And never leave

But she's leaving me
Because she really wants to
And she'll be happy when she's gone
She'll be happy
She'll be so very happy
She'll dance and sing
Or even learn to fly
And spend her time with anyone but me

What's that you say
That I'll get over her the more that time goes by
But time goes so slow
When all I have to do is sit around and cry

No she won't be back
I'd be a fool to try to fool myself that way
I know she hasn't one regret
Because she hasn't had one since
The day she came to stay

She's leaving me
Because she really wants to
And she'll be happy when she's gone
She'll be happy
She'll be so very happy
She'll dance and sing
And even learn to fly
And spend her time with anyone but me

She'll be happy when she's gone
She'll be happy when she's gone
She'll be happy when she's gone
She'll be happy when she's gone

- "She's Leaving Me Because She Really Wants To", by Lyle Lovett

ありがとう、トリちゃん。 Thank you, Margaret.
tsukikage: (NieA_7 - NieA)
After a big fuss, I bought the wrong vacuum bags, and I can't exchange them until the morning.
I should have known that when Ann said they bought the wrong bags last time, that it was also the wrong bag in the vacuum when I was checking what kind to get.
Sometimes I wonder who's more stubborn: me or my dad? Perhaps we're tied? ;-)
I suppose it's just as well, considering that the 'rents will be in bed within two hours, although I at least would have liked to get my nightstand set up.

This song is reminding me heavily of Patrick... As I was saying to [livejournal.com profile] yumenohoshi and Ann earlier, I'm feeling myself getting over Patrick, but on the other hand I hate that idea and don't want to get over him. How unhealthy is that?!
But after that pang I felt just now, at least I know it's the lesser of two evils.
I wish I had a TV so I could just plop down on the couch and watch me some Spirited Away.

I wanna go and hang out with someone...
tsukikage: (GW - not Toast)
This morning I was feeling better, so I decided to meet Patrick after his class to give him some stuff, and at 11:10 I got up to go find him since I had class in five minutes. I could have sworn that there was a big auditorium by the entrance, and why does it say "School of Mathematics".
Oh. I've been waiting for Patrick to come out of Vincent. Go me.
So I ran over to Tate to see if he was still there, but he wasn't. And now I'm crabby again.

I have a job interview on Monday at 1 for that A/V tech position I briefly mentioned.

And now to box stuff up to take home. After making myself some calories, of course.
tsukikage: (PGSM - bishoujo senshi)
Strange thing for me to be watching DS9 now, as I'm in the depths of trying to get over Patrick.
See, Chris was a big DS9 fan... I suppose way back when watching this would have been weird for me because I wasn't yet "over" him. Of course, my situation with him was of a whole different nature, but it required similar emotional processes afterwards to the ones I'm dealing with now. In fact, even though I never really resolved everything I wished to have resolved, it took me until well into my relationship with Patrick to truly move on.
And so watching these episodes of DS9 I am brought a bit of perspective... I really will be over Patrick one day, even if it takes a long time. And in fact, I'll be more over him than I'm presently over Chris because I'll have that closure I need. And I really think closure is the most important thing.

And no, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm not going to explain them here. If you really want to know, gimme a call or something. It's a long story that happened a long time ago.

[EDIT: And yet, I still avoid him like the plague whenever I do run in to him or there's a chance that I might... That just amuses me. ^_^;]
tsukikage: (SM - Princess Mercury)
I think I just annoyed Patrick. It was probably me being overly talkative, but I wish I knew better at what point I was getting annoying.

Some Doctor Who quotes, though my heart isn't really behind them any more:
The Doctor: "You want weapons? We're in a library. Books! The best weapons in the world. This room's the greatest arsenal we could have... Arm yourself!"

Queen Victoria: "Perhaps its legend is now coming true. It is said that whoever owns it must surely die."
The Doctor: "Well that's true of anything, if you wait long enough."

Mickey: "Ho ho, mate! The Mrs. and the ex. Welcome to every man's worst nightmare..."

Mickey: "I'm their man in [insert British accent here]. I'm the tecnhical support. I'm... Oh my God, I'm the tin dog."

The Doctor: "You good dog."
K-9: *in a chpper voice* "Affirmative"

Evil Dude: "You bad dog..."
K-9: *in a chpper voice* "Affirmative"

The Doctor: "[insert British accent here] Spaceship Temporal Hyperlink"
Mickey: "What's that?"
The Doctor: "No idea. Just made it up. Don't wanna say 'magic door'..."

Reinette: "What do monsters have nightmares about?"
The Doctor: "Me."

"I'm The Doctor. And I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!" [I admit, I looked up the woman's name...]

Reinette: "It's the way it's always been. The monsters and the Doctor. It seems you cannot have one without the other."

Reinette: "Supposed to happen? What does that mean? It happened, child!"

*the Doctor smashes through on a white horse and winks at Reinette*

The Doctor: "Here's to the slow path."

Aaaand, that's the last of the episodes I have right now.


tsukikage: (Default)

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