So, after telling Patrick about it and discussing the situation with Sergey, I'm going to be asking
darkjing out tonight. I've basically been thinking I need to go out with someone other than Patrick for a while now. I remember when I went on that date with
o3nsmash... That was a major failure... Patrick actually ended up picking me up from it, if I remember right. (Either that, or Dad did...)
In any case, the only
real people I have crushes on right now are Jack (my C.A.) and Collin Bonde (the RHA president), but Jack's not dating right now and I've been hearing some things about Collin's personanlity that don't really make me want to actually ask him out. Then... There's Vinnie, John, and Sergey. I don't have crushes on any of them, but there have been many times where I've thought about these people "I'd really like to go on a date with him sometime". I don't like the fact that these three guy friends of mine, all of whom I feel are the closest that any of my friends are to me, are all people I've thought about asking out at one time or another. Is it really true that at least some peope can't truly just be friends with someone of the gender they're interested in?
But in any case, Sergey's already interested in someone, and John's the one I've thought the about the most in terms of thinking that I'd like to be in a relationship with someone like him. (Mainly, someone I can totally goof around with - yay, staring contests!)
I've been talking with Sergey a lot about this stuff, and he really thinks I should go for it. He pointed out something to me about why I've been avoiding this... Either a) I'm afraid of the answer (I don't think that's the case), or b) I'm afraid that it'll work out, and that neither situation is a good reason to not ask someone out. And I think the second is true... I'm afraid of it working out. (Although now that I think about it I also think that my worries about me thinking about asking out three of my closest male friends might have something to do with it, too. That if there is truth to the idea that I can't have a normal relationship with a boy, that at least I can not actually persue a relationship with any of my male friends.)
So yeah, in any case, I called John during dinner today, and got his answering machine, so I left a message asking him to call me back. When he does, I'm going to ask him out. I don't know what "working out" means really, but I hope it does. (Perhaps it means him turning me down so I can delay worrying about this for a bit? ^_^;)
Now to get ready for work.